As a child I had to carry water, chop wood, dig holes, plant and gather vegetables and fruits, help at making bricks which we then used to build the house, carry heavy things, cook for the whole family, cut chickens heads off and cook them, help when the pigs were cut in pieces, clean their smelly insides, walk long km to get somewhere....
While doing all these things, I was thinking.
I was made to be a functioning machine but my head followed and it became a thinking machine. It seems that it also found a way to escape that reality.
My dream was to read, I really wanted to read more than anything.
I remember wishing in moments of quotidian agony to be a cat, or a dog, or to have the enjoyable job of a seller. At that time, the shops were places where you had to go and ask for the things you needed. You would have to talk to this person, the seller, and make small talk until she got your things ready. Yes, it was almost always a she.
I thought that she had an easy job. So close to the things everybody wanted to have and paid for.
But after all that thinking, crying and dreaming I made the good choice. I read and read and read. This made me see the value of everything or almost anything.
Looking around now, it seems that the world is confused.
The digital revolution left millions of people confused, afraid and lost in their own lives. It also made the young ones feel dizzy and tired even before doing anything. It takes resilience and a certain degree of craziness to live now. It seems that we are at Level 10 of this game called Life and struggling to make it.
We wish to have a bus driver life but are pushed into a whirlpool of things, ideas, sounds, words, people, places, opportunities, colors, levels of illumination and understanding to achieve. This is going on and on and on.
I think that having a desire to shrink, to protect that part of us which is in pain and tired is health for a while.
As long as we don't shrink emotionally, mentally and spiritually and keep trying to get somewhere where we have not been, see things we have not yet seen, do things we have not done but wished to have done , learn things we have not known yet, create things which did not exist before- these moments of wishful thinking are fine.
Do we really want life to be predictable, simple, on a schedule as the bus ?
Let's think about that.