Changing or not changing ? Another question.

Human beings operate on habits. The brain is a habit creator, the purpose being to spare energy. This is one of the main theses I find out while reading "The power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg.




The book I am reading


The book is so interesting and full of examples, I would have gulped it in a go if there weren't things like cleaning , eating, drinking, breathing to do. Oh wait! These functions are being taken care of by the brain and the body seemingly. I don't have to think hard worrying about the fate of my food sliding down the throat. I don' have to remind myself to breath again or to activate my immune system each morning.


So what am I doing ? What am I investing time and energy in? What other hidden patterns am I following and maybe should evaluate and stop so that I could change the situation ?


What is the situation?


The situation has two ways to look at, at least this is how I do.


The good one- I am managing alone my life from Prague, Czech Rep, paying all the bills on time, keeping myself alive and clean within a very tight budget, investing time, money and creative effort in activities like this one. I have no damaging habits like drinking, smoking or other addictions.

The not so good one - I am alone in a foreign country. I never met my neighbors since I never see them. If I would, how could I speak to them since Czech is not a language I master. If I die, no one will know or notice, maybe in a week or so. With all my openness and helpfulness I see nobody around who would choose to stay with me even if I am crying (sometimes) or getting angry while trying again and again after numerous failures.


Let's look at the good habits :


-eating only what I like and is nurturing to me. After having struggled with nutrition issues for a couple of years I found that the only way to live is to take care of yourself not selfishly but because otherwise nothing works.

-moving on a daily basis - because it is so fun and helps me to discharge tons of tension.

-reading and studying constantly - because I am very curious :)

-choosing activities that enhance my skills and make me joyful, not exhausted after doing them- because time is valuable and it is fun to get to know your own limits or absence of.

-not gossiping and trying not to mingle with neurotic gossiping people or talking people down . Because what comes in that comes out!

-being open to change - because this is only way to live. Duh!

-saying no to activities I am not feeling drawn to - because the clock is ticking,why waste time on doing something which leaved me empty ?

-addressing personal and interpersonal issues directly - oh, this is a good one. I do choose my words but not going around the bush, thank you very much.

-helping people because we all can- small gestures, praying or talking to them really helps.


Let's look at the not so good habits creating the not so good side of my situation :


-eating plant based and thinking about health - years ago when I felt the need to eat plant based my parents could not accept it initially. My mother took it as a direct affront which is understandable. Then they accepted it and understood that I am not following a trend but my very own gut. This way of eating is scary and strange for so many people. They stay away, ignore or laugh about it. And so, I eat plants!

-moving regularly- I come across as a crazy person when I say that I walk. The colleagues wonder at me still being alive after all that walking. I would like to tell them that yeah, people still do that! And so, I walk alone!

- reading constantly - reading is a solitary activity, it is my oldest habit flowing and flooding in my veins. And so, I read alone!

-skills enhancing activities - what are my skills ? surviving, languages, being present, listening, care taking, organizing. By doing that I have all the time, but it is my own kind of fun :)

-open to changes means changing and thus being alone

-saying no is a good habit but it leaves one with even less hands to hold to which is in fact filtering those who are not there for real.

-addressing issues directly - has a surgical effect. Only the good and healthy stuff can stay.

-helping people because I can- easily drains me of energy I should use on staying alive , because you might have noticed, not everybody returns the energy ! Must enforce my boundaries.


As you and I can see this looks like a complicated situation. What makes me strong makes me weak at the same time .

Anyways, I am going to stay committed to being healthy, concentrated, organised and sharing the story. I am sure better days are on the way!