A conversation with my mother. Translated into English from Romanian by me.
How was your childhood? What did you like to do?
My childhood was all drowned in work. I never had time to read for example. As long as I can remember I worked. I don’t even understand how I managed to do my homework!
Only on Sunday I had some free time. I used to go play with the other girls, with my cousins. We played Baba Oarba (Hide and Seek), football. And usually I was the winner :)
I also loved the holiday seasons. During that time, my mother didn’t assign us work.
What was difficult for you as a little girl?
If I may be sincere, I don’t remember any kind of difficulties. My mother took care to meet my needs as a child. I am very thankful for this.
*My mother associated difficulties with material lack, which is understandable. I was referring to something different but that's fine. The next question is more precise.
If you had questions, whom did you speak to?
I always tried to sort things out by myself. I could see that my mother was so busy and I tried to keep things uncomplicated, less difficult for her. I didn’t have someone to talk to. If still there was something I really needed to know about I asked my mother.
Mother, I never met your father, my grandfather. I would like to know how was he? What did you like about him?
Grandfather Zaharia was a tall, handsome man, a good householder (gospodar). He came to ask my mother’s hand on a beautiful horse. He was the carrier in the village (the person carrying things around in a carriage, years ago when there was no other transportation mode). I loved the way he called me. He used to call me “daddy’s boy” because I could do everything at home, like a boy.
What role did the church have in your family life? Did you really believe in God?
The church was deeply rooted in our family. But the communists closed it, which did not stop us from going to the church in the next village, Prajila (where you and Tania were baptized). I loved Easter holidays, when I used to go to take light from Pragila during the holy Easter night. I would wake up really early so that I could have a good spot. What a pleasure after that, everybody was waiting for me at home! Yes, I believed in God. He was and still is my support. Glory to our God!
What did you want to become when you grow up?
I became what I wanted to become! And I work in the field even now. I wanted to work in the medical fiel. At that time, in the village, this profession was highly regarded. I am also very thankful to Valeriu (my father) for this. (As a young couple, my father got a job in Komsomolsk on Amur, working on a Russian submarine. There, he insisted that my mother, who was not sure and pregnant with my sister, take the course in nursing. She wasn’t sure because of the language. Her Russian at that time was not very good).
What did your mother teach you about being a woman?
Rica, (my nickname) to tell you the truth, grandmother did not teach me much. I didn’t get angry with her. I could see how busy and tired she was. She never had time for herself. I took care of her always and I never asked her anything. But I learned from her everything that I considered good.
What kind of women do you admire? What characteristic do they have?
I admire powerful, intelligent, skillful women who know to keep a business but also a family. A kind and good homemaker. I never liked untidy women.
Would you like to tell something to your parents? Even if they are not here with us anymore, they can hear and feel us.
I want to thank my parents for the way they educated me. I loved and love them. I miss them. I regret that they left so soon. I feel their absence and I am thankful for the life they gave me.
What would you like to tell us, your children?
I want to tell you that I love you very much. I miss you and I ask you to come home, now when we are still here. After that, we can’t turn back anything. I know this very well. We are waiting for you.
Is there anything about your youth that you are regretting? What would you have done different or not at all?
Regrets...I regret that I didn’t give you, my children, more motherly attention, more affection.
I know this. But I thought about this and you know that I never wandered aimlessly (n-am umblat cu băutul) or did unordinary things (which is a polite version of= meeting random men). I worked all the time because we only had my salary and it was difficult (we were building our house from ground up). I wanted to make sure that you have everything you need and that people don’t laugh at us (for being poor). I thank God that he was and still is with us. From my youth there is nothing to regret. What was bad passed, maybe it was given for me to go through it and learn.
Do you believe that we , as a family, manage to accomplish our role? Do we manage to love each other as we are, do we succeed in respecting each other?
Maybe we are missing still something... But I believe that in time we are going to get better. I thank God that we have such a father, a good husband, a wise man, because he was sent to us by God.