In continuation to the series "People like us" this time I have a few of these normal and extraordinary people to shortly talk about.
I have been thinking about what makes these stories different, what is taking their lives out of the silent mass of people setting them on the border between : to live or not to live.
Finally I came to the conclusion that this is:
-taking responsibility for their lives, their actions,
-speaking their truth no matter who is listening
-living from an authentic standpoint i.e: not corrupted by the illusion of the external world.
I knew nothing about Mariah Carey before listening to her book and life story.
I did hear her songs and saw her videos on MTV wearing luxurious clothes, perfect hair and makeup but did not know that behind all that show a woman is singing her pain out. I did not know about her being brought up under very poor conditions, her struggle with her mother, brother and sister who at one point abused her to such an extent that she decided to interrupt the communication with them. They even sent Mariah (who was tired and sick) into an asylum just to keep her silent and her fortune secure. I did not know that she married a man who soon became her boss and oppressor. A person who would be managing her artistic carrier but also her life, thoughts, movements and freedom of speak and creation. I was also touched by the fact that Mariah, just like so many women and men are found barehanded in front of aggression and abuse of all sort. The freeze state becomes a kind of normality.
The audio book is written, read and sang by Mariah. If you go and watch one of the videos remember to notice the hair and know that Mariah as a little girl had did not have someone to care for her, combing her hair was something she learned later, the mother never paid attention to it. That is why later in life she insisted on having such long and luscious hair.
Hannes - Audio Documentary "Hannes soll kein Russe werden"
Hannes is a courageous boy who had difficulties, ever since he was a little boy, to behave like all the others, to think and be like all others. For lack of a better term, the society we live in is identifying these people as- difficult, not normal, sick autists and so on.
Hannes had difficulties with emotions and managing these, problems with behaving "normally" and he reacted to the incapacity of the systems our lives are directed by with a very clear cut choice - self termination.
He lived for 3 years in Kirghizstan, where he was sent as part of rehabilitation program by the Judendamt. Amazingly, he did find there the kind of freedom, space, people and animals, nature, sport and activities that he needed as to feel good for the first in his life. He made friends and lived with a local family, learned the language and was doing well in school. He was visiting his German parents during summer. The moment when the Jugendamt unexpectedly decided to put him back into the German system, things got back to "normal" - Hannes started again harming himself, reacting violently when confronting life situations - not being able to contain and manage his emotions again. Finally after months of this ordeal, he took the final decision himself.
The documentary is a reflection on the efficiency of the social systems, the school and family system as they are now. These systems failed to provide the very help they were created to offer. In that case the remaining questions is: what is the purpose their existente?
The audio series "Philippa Perry's Families in crisis" is eye opening, heart crushing and educative. Philippa Perry - a British psychotherapist and writer- is discussing with families where one of the members is being caught by the toxic grasp of : alcoholism, anorexia, heroin addiction, adoption, psychosis, ketamine addiction, obsessive compulsive disorder - she is listening to the stories and explaining why something happened and how the families manage to overcome the crisis and somehow grow into a new community, embracing those who are weaker.
The society, as it is being set up today, seems to be failing all those who are alive now. More an more people are falling thought the cracks, outside of the system and acquire addictions of some kind, become homeless and unimplied.
My take from these stories :
the responsibility of being alive is in our hands. We can always improve and should try doing so to the extent we are able to, in that moment. Asking for help is not only needed but also natural and arriving at the end of live surrounded by a few but true friends who love and care for you - that is the greatest we can achieve in this life.