Unhealed or ignored past harming experiences are stored in the body in the form of - tension, fear, rigidity, chronic, persistent pain; and in the subconscious mind- that part of the software which is difficult to access and to change - if not through awareness and pain when going through life in real time.
Often we say - move on, leave it, go ahead, start again - which I certainly agree with and still this is possible IF the past hurtful experiences, attachments to learned ways of thinking, meanings that we assign, attachments to the safety of known experiences and ways of living - are looked at, understood and brought into awareness so that we can chose a new way of thinking and living.
Healing and loving ourselves first might be the most difficult and the most impactful thing we can chose to do, or not, in this life.
The most human action a human being can do.
Brene Brown : Books