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What did my mother teach me

To survive

To run away

To stay

To cry

To never cry

To pretend I'm not there

To laugh out loud in the middle of the night

To work and work hard

To bend joy before responsibility

To work at making life work

To work

To work

To work

To work and have little

To clean, to cook, to make everything shine

To stay alert when alone

To stay alert when someone is there

To doubt myself

To stay inside

To never be inside

To behave

To fast

To eat too much

To clean myself till bleeding

To not care about myself

To never say I am cold, I am hungry, I am tired, I am hurt

I am lonely

To stay in line

To shut the fuck up

To grow the fuck up

To speak the fuck up

All at once

To doubt what I am saying

To feel uneasy within myself

To never wear pants

To hate dresses

To avoid looking at myself

To cut myself out of anything lucky, young and funny

To wait

To fulfill orders

To be the savior

To expect to be understood without saying anything

To expect to be liked while doubting it will happen

To fear not being liked

To give a fuck about being liked

All at once

To help and sooth

To be there when the world crashes and let them cry on my shoulder

To smile when life is hard

To cry afterwards

To imagine how could it be

To hold myself back

To say I will not and then still do

To make up my own words

To give new meanings

To turn to angels

To hear voices

To see the unseen

To see the impossible

To step into it and say I can make it work

To fill the void

To make it all work

To forget about myself

To forget

To forget

To forget

To forgive

To forgive

To choose to forgive

To choose to love


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